One unfortunate day, Bill Clinton and the Pope both died, Clinton was condemned to Hell and Pope was going to be sent to Heaven. But this all got muddled up and they were sent to the wrong places. So, an angel was sent down to Hell to get the Pope and a devil was sent up to get Clinton, as they were being led towards their destination, they met in the middle. “I’m really looking forward to meeting the Virgin Mary,” the Pope said. “Ermm, you’re 5 minutes too late,” replied Clinton.
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alsoA recent poll of American women asked the question: Would you sleep with Bill Clinton? 94 percent responded “Never again!”
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Two sheep in a field, one says, “Baaaaaaaa!”
The other says, “Damn! I was just going to say that!”
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A big bear and little rabbit are taking a dump side by side in the woods. The bear looks down at the rabbit and asks. “Do you have trouble with poop sticking to your fur?” The rabbit replies “no”. So the bear wiped his bottom with the rabbit.
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At age 4, success is… not peeing in your pants.
At age 12, success is… having friends.
At age 16, success is… having a driver’s license.
At age 20, success is… having sex.
At age 35, success is… having money.
At age 50, success is… having money.
At age 60, success is… having sex.
At age 70, success is… having a driver’s license.
At age 75, success is… having friends.
At age 90, success is… not peeing in your pants.
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Old mother hubbard,
Went to da cupboard,
To get her old dog a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover took over,
And gave da bitch a bone of his own.
Hickory, dickory, dock,
Dis bitch was sucking me cock,
Da clock struck two,
I dumped me goo,
And dropped her at da end of da block.
Mary had Read the rest of this entry »
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Shower like a woman…
Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat.
Get in shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Condition hair with cucumber and lamprey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for Read the rest of this entry »
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