- Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!
- The higher you are, the farther you fall
- Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
- When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
- I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
- If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
- Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do?
- Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
- I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
- When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better
- To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems
- WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i'LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
- I avoid temptation unless I can't resist it
- I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours
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