- Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition
- What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
- Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too..
- Opinions are like assholes... Everyone's got one, and they stink
- Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me
- Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
- If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
- I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
- Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark causechildren
- Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
- Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it
- Statistics are used by people who have no proof
- Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet
- You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
- If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you
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