- In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
- Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
- I like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become a Consultant
- Mental Health is overrated
- Be The Change You Wish To See
- All generalizations are false
- A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
- This isn't school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting
- The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common
- Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
- Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already
- War does not determine who is right... but who is left
- If you are drinking to forget, pay in advance
- If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
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