- Be a Minimalist. It's the least you can do
- After working here, I now realize that "Dilbert" is not a comic strip. It's a documentary
- She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon
- My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted
- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Even hot girls have to fart
- I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
- Do you got with me get lost? I know the way
- It was a brave man who ate the first oyster
- There are three types of economists. Those who can count, and those who can't
- Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
- Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ass
- I never appoligize! I'm sorry, that's just not the way I am
- Moblie phones are the only subject on which men boast about who' got the smallest
- Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife
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